It is with great trepidation that I dip my toe into the murky – yet disturbingly placid – waters of the Eurovision Song Contest. Eurovision is a major cultural phenomenon, and yet, like a dream forgotten after waking, or the scent of a viola, your reviewer seems unable to focus on it. It has caused restless hours tossing and turning in bed, unable to sleep; interminable, rambling sentences; and even self references in the 3rd person, yet I’m still unable to listen to a song the whole way through without losing concentration and moving on to something else (perhaps they employ Eurovision contestants to write legal contracts?) My one moment of hope was dashed when I discovered that YouTube had inserted a link to Black and Blue by the Aussie blues band “Chain” into the list of Eurovision videos (now there’s a refreshing lack of over-production and wind machines).
But I digress. Despite watching the rehearsal video 3 times (!), I still can’t remember anything about the song, although I can confirm that there was a midriff and some hips involved. I suspect they are attempting to channel the spirit of ABBA, which was the first act (of only 3 ever) to become a commercial success after winning Eurovision. Take “ABBA”, change “A” to “Z”, throw in an arbitrary “i” to symbolise the iPhone generation, and you’ve got ZiBBZ. Will ZiBBZ make it to the finals? I don’t know.
Review: Jim McClean
Micronation San Marino’s offering this year is notable for two reasons:
– Jessika and Jenifer bring the total number of San Mariners known to be able to at least coarsely bang out a tune to a grand total of approximately four people. I can only assume Valentina Monetta has recently undergone major surgery to miss her annual engagement, and wish her all the best in her recovery.
– This certainly isn’t the first time a singer will be upstaged by their backup dancers, but those dancers being tiny robots is new. Congrats to Jess, Jen and their plastic entourage.
On paper, the performance has a lot of the requisite components: a strong gimmick, a white jumpsuit (drink!), a riff that’s already proven to be a winner (Måns Zelmerlöw, at bit?), a surprise hip hop interlude performed by someone dressed like they were originally intended to be a 90s grunge interlude, an adorable nose scrunch, and a key change that’s only outdone in subtlety by her lipstick.
Will the sum be greater than the parts, and deliver more tourists to San Marino than it has citizens? Unlikely. But together it approaches the Platonic ideal of a Eurovision entry.
Review by Ingrid Errington