Armenia, Australia, Belgium

ArmeniaFly With Me by Artsvik

I recon these are the horse people from Game of Thrones – only more dressed, which is an odd thing to say for Eurovision! Anyway, the hair and the baseline are great! Yes, there is a bit of wailing, but it is a delicate kind of wailing. So, I think Armenia is onto something good here….finals or extras in the new GOT season?

Review by Mariella Herberstein

 

Australia

Don’t Come Easy By Isaiah

 

And so the romance between Eurovision and Australia continues! After two top 10 positions, will Isaiah clinch Eurovision victory for Australia??? He certainly has the best eyebrows of the competition. In an eyebrow-off with Ireland’s Brendan Murray,  Isaiah would win without batting an eyelid. But can the eyebrows make up for a fairly boring song, sung well admittedly, but still boring? I am tempted to say: Yes! Why not! Bring on the finals for Australia!!!!

Review by Mariella Herberstein

 

Belgium

City Lights by Blanche

So, I had fairly low expectations, here – Belgium is pretty mediocre at Eurovision (and possibly in general). But to my surprise, Blanche delivers a catchy, atmospheric, yet languid number. Following her accountancy degree, Blanche has had extensive training as a ventriloquist and you can barely see her lips move. Her onstage performance includes striding.

Review by Mariella Herberstein

Armenia, Bosnia-Herzegovina and Belarus

Armenia
Armenia

LoveWave by Iveta Mukuchyan

photographer_Armen_Aghayan

Iveta is overcome by a LoveWave, the source of which is a dashingly handsome and hairy Ewin Mcgregor. Emotions have taken hold, and all Iveta can do is screech: uhhhhuhhhuuhhhhuuuhhh. The wailing is artfully amplified by the Armenian Duduk – an ancient, yet annoying reed instrument.  On the plus side, Iveta is sporting a blow wave, the like of which I have not seen since Farrah Fawcett. Also, Iveta has very well shaped eyebrows!

Review by Mariella Herberstein

—————————–

Bosnia & Herzegovina
ba

Ljubav Je by Dalal & Deen feat. Ana Rucner and Jala

ES__11_of_14__Ana_Rucner__Fuad_Backovi___Deen__Dalal_Midhat_Talaki____Jasmin_Fazli___Jala

It’s been twelve long years since Deen graced the Eurovision stage with his oh-so-subtle pelvic thrusting, rhinestone-clad, mouth-gaping ‘In the Disco‘, replete with its concerning message about body image.

It may be best to think of ‘Ljubav Je’ as an opportunistic longitudinal study on the effects of aging on the human body. Dependent variables of interest could include hair quantity, hair location, voice pitch and surface area to volume ratio. The next measurement is due in 2028.

Not even France is entirely en français this year, so take this opportunity to drink for a song in a native language.

Review by Ingrid Errington

—————————–

Belarus
Belarus

Help you fly by IVAN

-best10059-best

Belarus has sent the love child of Ron Weasley and Kylo-Ren to Eurovision. This could be interesting, but sadly is not. IVAN extrudes a whiny metal ballad that could have been ripped off the back catalog of Scorpion  (remember ‘wind of change’?). While the screen display behind IVAN offers moments of distraction, the viewer is left wondering why he wants to help wolves fly?

Rumours have it that IVAN is planning to perform naked with real wolves – nothing less if he wants a chance to get into the finals.

Review by Mariella Herberstein

—————————–