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Estonia, Ireland, Montenegro

Estonia – Stefan: Hope

Estonia is going full country on Eurovision! Surely bringing a spaghetti western to Italy is nothing short of genius! Stefan has the right voice and attitude to carry this off and he can even ride a hose (a white one, of course) – certainly the video is high class. Could be the dark horse of the competition?

Review by Mariella Herberstein

Ireland – Brooke: That’s Rich

Surrounded by solid 80s synth, and dressed in pyjamas, Brooke’s cheeky girl-pop is audacious and fresh. I, for one, highly appreciate the departure from the folk-inspired songs that Ireland likes to throw at Eurovision (as well as the occasionally turkey). Brooke won’t win Eurovision for Ireland, but she will definitely do better than recent years when Ireland came last in the semis. You go girl!

Review Mariella Herberstein

Montenegro – Vladana: Breathe

Following a period of hiatus, Montenegro has decided to come back to Eurovision with a classic Balkan ballad. Vladana, probably a vampire, laments the fragility of life with an impressive vocal range. Undoubtedly, Montenegro’s best performance to date, yet the song lacks a catchy chorus to hook into and to propel it into the finales.

Review by Mariella Herberstein

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Georgia, Ireland and Latvia

Georgia – You by Tornike Kipiani

This is the perfect sleep music including low frequency delta waves. People on the tubes like it, not sure Eurovision will, though! ‘Nice’ might just not be enough when the stakes are high and glitter.

Review by Mariella Herberstein

Ireland – MAPS by Lesley Roy

Evoking an orienteering theme, Lesley’s soul is a map and her heart is a compass and boy can she run! She is literally running the length of Ireland (dressed in green – very en pointe). The violine to electropop transition is very well done, and even when the dense soundcloud swallows up Lesley’s voice she keeps going. Hope she gets there.

Review by Mariella Herberstein

Latvia – The Moon Is Rising by Samanta Tīna

Get ready for high drama – Samanta and her army of blond and brunette ponytails are reclaiming power! While the melody is rather annoying, the song is indeed empowering encouraging everyone to crown themselves. No longer content with being a song writer, Samanta wants to be a Queen! Not sure Eurovision is ready for that, though.

Review by Mariella Herberstein

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Ireland & Finland

Ireland

22 by Sarah McTernan

Sarah McTernan brings us a laid back catchy pop-tune that will at least get some decent radio play, if not rack up a decent amount of points this year. It’s a solid toe tapper but perhaps not enough to blow the socks of the global audience. If Ireland want to keep their record of most Eurovision wins they are going to have to start bringing their A game before Sweden finally re-unite ABBA and go after the title once and for all. In which case Ireland’s only defence may be in engineering a bionically enhanced Johnny Logan to return to the stage and claim his third finals victory. Who knows what 2020 could bring…

Review by James O’Hanlon

Finland

Look away by Darude feat. Sebastian Rejman

The 90s we’re great weren’t they? Scrunchies we’re in, Santana was making a comeback, Twitter hadn’t been invented yet, all was well. So is it time to relive the glory days and bring 90s music back into fashion? Maybe not. This year Finland revisits the late 90s and brings us a track littered with synth beats and boy band harmonising reminiscent of 90s pop music. Sadly, like most 90s pop music, it is instantly forgettable and unlikely to fare well at Eurovision this year. 

What isn’t forgettable however is the abomination of a soul-patch Darude appears to be sporting. The image of this flavour savour landing strip has been semi-permanently burned into my retinas. I know, facial hair shaming isn’t cool, but let’s just hope that this trend doesn’t catch on like fork beards, pencil moustaches, chin straps, and all those other unsightly attempts at fancy facial hair styling. As the song title begs, ‘Look Away’.

Review by James O’Hanlon

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Ireland, Iceland, Portugal, Romania

Ireland

Dying to Try by Brendan Murray

Rumour has it that, as a young child, Brendan Murray’s cheeks were pinched so vigorously by passing octogenarians that he required reconstructive surgery. They say he is paid entirely in crocheted doilies and lemon tea-cakes, and is banned from releasing a Christmas album amidst fears that it would induce a mass attack of the vapours across the British Isles.

With good looks and titanium-reinforced cheekbones Brendan Murray brings dollops of gorgeousness to this year’s Eurovision Song Contest. His melancholy tune about struggling to maintain relationships has one of the most impressive key changes of this year’s line up, and has left women across Europe wondering why their daughters can’t find themselves a nice young man like Brendan. His eyebrows alone are guaranteed to get him as far as the semi-finals.

Review by James O’Hanlon

 

IcelandPaper by Svala

Svala has been granted sabbatical leave from the Borg to represent Iceland this year. The song ‘Paper’, precisely crafted to suit the musical requirements of the assimilated masses, is unsurprisingly mediocre. Nevertheless you will vote for Iceland, resistance is futile. It’s robotic rhythms and synth melodies are perfect listening for the next time you are cruising through the grid on your light cycle. Keep an eye out for the key change goose-step late in the song – a well-timed and subtle build to… nothing at all. Clearly key-changes do not compute.

Review by James O’Hanlon

 

PortugalAmar Pelos Dois by Salvador Sobral

Salvador Sobral was orphaned on the streets of Lisbon as a child. Thankfully a flock of canaries took him in and raised him as one of their own. Years later he was discovered working in a mineshaft – cramped inside a small cage and entertaining the workers with his gentle melodies. Now a full grown man and successful performer, Salvador collaborates with his sister Luisa – who wrote this song and most definitely isn’t pissed about Salvador getting all the credit.

Surprisingly this song, ‘Amor Pelos Dios’ is one of the most coherent Eurovision efforts we have heard from Portugal since, well, ever! The orchestration is tasteful, the soft piano melody is whimsical, and the singing is, believe it or not, in key. Portugal, you have surprised us all and have done well! Maybe you should get Salvador and Luisa to look into your national debt problems, it’s not like they could do any harm.

Review by James O’Hanlon

 

Romania

Yodel It! By Ilinca feat. Alex Flora

It’s Eurovision! Of course there is yodelling! I’m proud to say that Romania have inspired my latest tattoo. The phrase ‘Yodel It!” has been carved into my chest and sits nicely in between my “#YOLO” and “Frankie Says Relax” tatts.

Equal parts East 17, Aqua, and von Trapp family, Romania pairs a seductive yodeller in a leprechaun suit with a tone-deaf rapper to create this year’s abomination. Seriously it’s terrible. Me thinks the novelty value won’t float this boat very far and Romania are likely to sink early on in the quarter finals.

Review by James O’Hanlon

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Ireland, Bulgaria and Lithuania

Ireland
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Sunlight by Nicky Byrne

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Former Westlifer Nicky Byrne – better known as Ireland’s second sexiest man 2014 – is carrying the hopes of the Republic this year with the pop-ballad ‘Sunshine’. It’s pretty standard fare, but there’s the hint of a foot-tapping groove, and I enjoy the irony of an Irishman singing about sunlight (note the lack of location-shots in the accompanying video). It’s an outside chance.

Review by Tom White

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Bulgaria
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If Love Were a Crime by Poli Genova

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If love were a crime, then Poli Genova would be in jail for beating that lyrical conceit to death. She’d be sharing a cell with her weird necktie thing, which is surely committing a fashion crime. Otherwise, this entry is totally forgettable generic Eurotrash; here’s hoping the song doesn’t make bail or the finals.

Review by Scott Fabricant

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Lithuania
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I’ve Been Waiting for This Night by Donny Montell

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I specifically want to review the music video version, because honestly that party looks pretty dope. As in, all the dope they probably lit up before filming. I think I just saw a girl blow a handful of popcorn at the camera while over in the corner people are stroking each other’s furry coats. Neither is a euphemism. Feelingly clearly overwhelmed by all the sensory stimuli in their current drug-addled state, the singer and his lyrically mandated date roam the streets, wave sparklers in each other’s faces, blow smoke in each other’s mouths, and eat kebabs as come-down munchies. So, another night in King’s Cross Lithuania I guess.

Oh you wanted me to review the song? It’s decent I guess. Typical bubblegum boy-pop. It’s pretty catchy, like crabs in a King’s Cross nightclub. He’ll do alright for himself, on the scoreboard and the afterparty.

Review by Scott Fabricant