Switzerland – Tout l’Univers by Gjon’s Tears
Gjon isn’t the only one crying after this thoroughly mediocre and appropriately car-crash-themed ballad. I am too, but they’re tears of boredom. That’s a thing now, all thanks to this song. 2/10 for the pretty landscape I’d like to visit when he gets up off the road and stops crying.
Review by Willow Norton
North Macedonia – Here I Stand by Vasil
Between the intensely uncomfortable eye contact and the Bond Villain aesthetic, I’m wondering whether Vasil wants to eat me or have me join his cult. Possibly both. Either way, his vibe was so distracting I barely noticed the song, which was boring and thoroughly forgettable. 0/10 Please never look at me like that again.
Review by Willow Norton