Destiny has no patience for stereotypes, being pushed around and similar shenanigans – she is out of here! Teaming up a huge voice with some attitude and a roaring 20s beat works a treat, top 10 for me! I do fear for that half naked man trapped with Destiny on stage., though.
This song is mostly about the sunglasses…. borrowing heavily from 80 pop synths the song is benign and perhaps a bit catchy…apparently everyone in Poland hates it. Maybe Eurovision will love it…maybe not.
This is the perfect sleep music including low frequency delta waves. People on the tubes like it, not sure Eurovision will, though! ‘Nice’ might just not be enough when the stakes are high and glitter.
Evoking an orienteering theme, Lesley’s soul is a map and her heart is a compass and boy can she run! She is literally running the length of Ireland (dressed in green – very en pointe). The violine to electropop transition is very well done, and even when the dense soundcloud swallows up Lesley’s voice she keeps going. Hope she gets there.
Get ready for high drama – Samanta and her army of blond and brunette ponytails are reclaiming power! While the melody is rather annoying, the song is indeed empowering encouraging everyone to crown themselves. No longer content with being a song writer, Samanta wants to be a Queen! Not sure Eurovision is ready for that, though.
Reminiscent of a dentist’s drill, Efendi’s Mata Hari is testing my patience and love for Eurovision. And when the singing finaly stops the heavy drums and wailing pipes start. Apparently, Efendi competed five times to represent Azerbaijan and missed out ….if only she’d made it a sixth time unsuccessfully.
Wait…. this is actually a sensitive, beautifully arranged and heartfelt song with lucid yet confronting lyrics. I love it a lot….not sure Eurovision is a safe place for Victoria.
I can’t quite put my finger on it…is it the autotuning, the lazy lyrics (‘oh my god’ is repeated 10 times) or the casual sexist disrespect? Probably all of the above – nil points from me .
Oh dear, the UK is heading for the bottom of the pile again. The whole thing just does not make any sense…clearly, this is meant to be a slow love ballad that some music exec turned into a thumping dance mix. Poor James can’t conjure up a decent dance step and is out of breath just keeping up the tempo. Let’s hope the brass section can carry this through…
Oh, hello…the 80s are back!!! Fyr & Flamme are Denmark’s answer to Wham, just not as good. The two lads have found the left-over wardrobe from Miami Vice and deliver a bit of 3-minute fun with an astonishing lack of irony. I like it!
Elegant, powerful, joyful and relevant – Jeangu sings in English and Sranan Tongo about the colonial history of the Netherlands with resilience and could easily carry away a back-to-back win for the Netherlands. Not really a fate I wish upon the country – Ireland won back to back in the 90s after which it fell into a deep misery from which it is only now slowly emerging.
Anxehla belts out a classic Eurovision power ballad with everything you hoped for: wailing pipes, a plunging décolletage, a key change and a truck load of regrets. The deceptive soft start quickly gives way to a heavy drum beat, a rogue clarinet and Anxehia’s imposing yodel – oh boy!
Stefania travels by Pegasus (a winged horse of sorts), heavily sampling the 80s (think Kim Wild and Never Ending Story) encouraging us to dance. The song is inoffensive and imminently forgettable. With her Durch background, here is hoping for some sympathy points from the host country.
I have never thought of myself a hateful person but Jendrik’s random collection of melodized emojis underpinned by an insidious ukulele sure turned me!
Wow Italy, this was a shock but mainly because of my lack of experience with the Italian rock(ish) sound. The guitars sound great and combined with the voice and melody there definitively was some light head banging.
Although, it feels like the look is a bit forced maybe towards darker sounds, but not really getting it… did anyone else think of Marilyn Manson around the middle of the video? Drums and guitars have more of a 2010’s rock vibe with all the “The something” bands and the bass had a really cool Smashing Pumpkins flavour to it. A nice unexpected finding but also not really getting anything new or truly exciting here.
Well done Hooverphonic! Nice, short and catchy. But the real gold was hidden in the lyrics, the aftermath of a regretful one night stand, already intriguing isn’t it? Then, some fine notes of ironic humour and Johnny Cash references!!
With a really nice voice and melody, the band makes a clear point: if your one-night stand wakes up for the need of a cup of organic tea, then they are unworthy of wearing your Johnny Cash t-shirt, amen! Got lost somewhere in the middle of the video but the singing head on the floor totally pull me back to sing along! Dude, you’re in the wrong place!
I sure like the magenta velvet smoking jacket Tusse is wearing in the video, but, boy, does he drag out every note of this song…’can you heeeeeeaaaaaaaar a million voices’. I guess he needed to make it to the 3 minute mark. Not even the customary key change cheered me up.
Review by Mariella Herberstein
France – Voilà by Barbara Pravi
OMD (oh mon dieu) – France is going old school on us with a classic chanson, Piaff style. By 1’07” I developed cravings for Gauloise and cheap Beaujolais, contemplating the existential crisis of my life. Send help ….. or Denmark’s Fyr Og Flamme.
Featuring the mother of all key changes, Ana scales an impressive vocal range into a massive crescendo ably supported by a gospel choir. But without any of the usual trashy gimmicks, I doubt it will it be enough.
Gjon isn’t the only one crying after this thoroughly mediocre and appropriately car-crash-themed ballad. I am too, but they’re tears of boredom. That’s a thing now, all thanks to this song. 2/10 for the pretty landscape I’d like to visit when he gets up off the road and stops crying.
Review by Willow Norton
North Macedonia – Here I Stand by Vasil
Between the intensely uncomfortable eye contact and the Bond Villain aesthetic, I’m wondering whether Vasil wants to eat me or have me join his cult. Possibly both. Either way, his vibe was so distracting I barely noticed the song, which was boring and thoroughly forgettable. 0/10 Please never look at me like that again.
In case you were wondering, TIX bases his professional persona on the fact that he has Tourette’s Syndrome (TS), as chronicled in a mildly heartbreaking music video based on his childhood bullying incidents. He uses his C-list celebrity fame to spread awareness on Tourette’s, so I’d like to honor him by doing the same. TS is a movement disorder characterized by the combination of involuntary erratic rapid muscle contractions (movement tics), and verbal tics consisting of grunts and coughs, or more complex behavior such as repeating words (echolalia) or famously but rarely, the yelling of profanities (coprolalia). TS is considered a form of neurodivergence, an axis of diversity long ignored in the celebration of diversity that is classically Eurovision. So thank you TIX for your honesty and emotional bravery.
That said, I owe his honesty an honest review… except I can’t, since you might mistake it for coprolalia. What I will say is that I thought the song was boring, derivative, and repetitive (but not echolalia). One can only assume the Eurovision voters will diverge from TIX, and this fallen angel will fall to the bottom half of the finals.
Review by Scott Fabricant
Ukraine – SHUM by Go_A
I will admit I’m a bit rusty, but I remember a little behavioral ecology. An energetically costly signal is more likely to be an honest indicator of quality, right? In that case, Ukraine has A+ genes since honestly even watching this performance is a little exhausting. Like a whirling dervish, this folktronica forest rave keeps getting faster and faster. Like… like… supraventricular tachycardia? No, bad Scott, this is an ecology blog! Anyway, Go_A lives up to her name with an energetic quality beat that keeps going. Do I think she’ll win? Probably not the Eurovision finals, but possibly a fist fight against Putin. A+ genes!
Review by Scott Fabricant
Russia – Russian Woman by Manizha
I have no idea what Manizha is saying to me in Russian, but I am certain she is spilling some very hot tea, reading me good, and I’ve earned whatever acid she’s spraying. Her powerful verse crosses all language barriers for a full-throated assault on toxic masculinity and I am loving it. Coming out strong in an aposematically-red Rosie the Riveter jumper, her command of intersexual conflict would put ducks to shame. Douze points from me, but what I really want to see is her trash-talk Putin after Ukraine’s Go_A are finished with him.
I love the way Senhit pronounces ‘adrenaline’ – ADRRRRRELANIIIINE. The rest is ho-hum: wailing pipes, stomping rhythm and a superfluous rap interlude.
Reviewed by Mariella Herberstein
Cyprus – El Diablo by Elena Tsagrinou
Lady Gaga rang…she wants her songs back! But plagiarism is not the controversy here…poor Elena has been accused of devil worship.
Sure, she has given her heart to the devil, but, to be honest, the lyrics are more a cooking recipe than satanic : ‘hotter than sriracha’, ‘Ta-Taco tamale’ and ‘All this spicy melts’.
Another trashy entry from Cyprus, good enough for a summer hit in Mediterranean Discotheques.
Reviewed by Mariella Herberstein
Austria – Amen by Vincent Bueno
I have been taking up powernaps, and Vincent’s labouring, vaguely pious and non-descript ballad is the ideal sedative. I do wonder if he will make friends with devil-worshipper Elana from Cyprus.
